Haze of Smoke

KTM June 2024

A haze of smoke drifts across my field of vision.

Swirling in spirals to stretch elastic, only to dissolve.

My mind along with it.

I watch the joint, passed from hand to hand.

As the conversation spills haphazard, unpredictable.

I've given up contributing.

My thoughts a soaked in a pool of numbness.

Urgency evaporates.

Meaning morphs and twists in countless slender tendrils.

I shift back to soften my neck and shoulders.

No longer captured by the constant bombardment of thoughts.

Energy ground down to a trickle.

I look up from the roof top.

Watching clouds waft effortless, unperturbed.

Sun rays streaking from above, illuminates dust particles.

To dance to the subtlest stirrings. Joy in motion.

The joint arrives back to my hand.

Two deep draws fill my lungs.

All sways to the rhythm of hypnotic music, suddenly magical.

Desireless, bereft of concern.

The sea of bliss rolls as a tidal wave through me.

Underneath it is freedom.

An openness to letting go... of knowing.

To just be.

When my mind is clear and sharp.

I'm aware of the law of diminishing returns.

The more often I do this, the less I'll feel this magic.

It's in my refraining from partaking,

That the effect retains it’s power.

I watch those around me consume ten times my amount.

With almost no result. A return to baseline.

How delicious the dilemma.

To restrict my intake, low and infrequent.

To reman a lightweight.

Stoned on two puffs.

Wasted on four.

Delight in the ability to say no.

For the divine occasional rapture.

As if for the first time.